Setting! ~
The destruction was devastating. The streets were lined with rubble, if one could even call them streets. Distant air raid sirens cut through the still air, a grim reminder of the destruction. I stepped through dust and ashes, and walked dazedly along the once-grand streets of Berlin.
The colossal buildings fell to their knees. The siren stopped abruptly, and with it pin drop silence - save for the distant wailing of an infant from the street at the other end. The birds and crickets stopped their chirping, and the buildings that had not quite collapsed yet stopped their moaning. Rubble buried underneath layer upon layer of rubble, with a destitute structure as a marker.
"Is anyone out there?" I called out.
The baby continued wailing.
posted by Fuzzball @ 5:59 AM
2 Comments:
I like the way you start the paragraph. Using shot sentences really brings out the action and suspense. I like it that you used a black and white picture to portray mystery. However, what I don't quite understand is what the baby is for. Is there a purpose for including a wailing baby? Perhaps it may come into the story if you had continued it. Other than that, I like the picture and your setting.
Wrote really well! especially the last two sentences. I like the way you discribe the setting, as it not only brings out the essence of the issue in a vivid and simple way, you have someone to focus on, to contrast to the background of silence ( the baby) and also the scene is potrayed really "real" too.
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